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In middle school, I discovered high heels. These new contraptions not only made me look taller and thinner, but I loved the enormous compliments I would get. On the days when I wore my sneakers, no one would say anything. It was strange for me to suddenly be getting attention for a simple change, so I manipulated more. I changed my jeans into leggings, my tops into blouses, and my sweatshirts into cardigans. I still didn’t truly know anything about style or dressing well, but I was good with finding patterns. During that transition period in my wardrobe, I noticed one huge pattern: the more feminine I dressed, the better people told me I looked, and the better I felt.
It didn’t take long for me to pick up on this, and I took to my personal lookbook (at this time, my lookbook, or the outfits that I saved to look at for inspiration, was a binder full of magazine pages I had ripped out to save for later) to try and find some kind of explanation. I flipped through the pages, making note of the masculine inspired outfits, the oversized clothing, the sneakers and jeans. To me, these models still looked amazing, and they certainly would be getting compliments in those outfits. So what was it that made me look better when I wore the bright pink dresses and the sky high heels?
There was only one thing (other than the cost of the clothing) that separated me from the women in the magazine: my weight.
This wasn’t as much of a shock to young me as you may be imagining. I’ve been plus size basically all my life, give or take a few years, and I used to wear things like running shoes, flared jeans, and sweatshirts on the daily. It was just how I dressed. It was how I tried to hide the fact that I knew I was a bit overweight; it just made it more obvious though. So when I took to dressing more feminine, I felt like I was drawing more attention to myself and my weight, yet everyone seemed to think that it was a way better look for me.
Even now, as a twenty year old college student, I struggle every morning with the desire to wear boyfriend jeans and an oversized blouse with cute sneakers. When I wear outfits like that, I feel good. I know I put them together well. Sometimes, I even copy an outfit like that right from Instagram or a magazine, yet people tend to dismiss those outfits. It’s the days that I wake up and lose the battle to be comfortable, struggling to wear booties with heels, skin tight jeans, and a feminine top that I get the most compliments. This pattern has been happening all my life.
Why do we force this ideal on plus size women? Is it the patriarchy telling them that they should dress more like a female because being bigger is a trait “of a man?” Is it because god forbid we see a plus size woman be comfortable? Do we feel the need to make them dress more feminine to prove that they’re doing something to better their body, even though that’s nobody else’s business but their own? Why do we do it?
When doing research for this article, I had the hardest time finding any articles about this topic. But, what I did find were examples. This girl, for one, is dressed to the nines, and she would absolutely be considered fashionable, despite her weight. This girl, though? She’s dressed just as well, but the less feminine elements of her outfit seem to direct the perspective to her weight, not her clothing. Maybe that’s why feminine clothing is said to be more suitable for plus size women: if we can distract others from our weight with shiny accessories and pastel dresses, maybe our body will be deemed more societally acceptable.
The bottom line is this: it doesn’t really matter why we do it, we just need to stop doing it. Plus size women should be welcomed and celebrated in whatever they choose to wear. A skirt and heels? Beautiful! Baggy jeans and a turtleneck? For sure! A t-shirt, leggings, and a sweatshirt? Rock on, girl. How plus size women dress shouldn’t define their image; it should be defined by how they feel. And if plus size women feel good rocking something, no matter how feminine or non-feminine it is, who’s going to take that amazing feeling away from them? No one should.
Let plus size women dress how they want. They look good in everything, and the world just has to suck it up and finally realize that.